Has it ever happened to you that you can’t stop thinking about someone because of what they did, said, or because they left you baffled by their actions?
When someone hurts us or our loved ones, they may get stuck in our minds for longer than we would like. This can cause us to feel bad not just at the time we’ve been hurt, but for days, weeks, or even months later.
Thus, when this happens we cannot stop thinking about the behavior that has hurt us so much, and we retain in our mind the memory of the image and the words of the toxic person. This fact happens a lot, for example, in couples who suddenly end their relationship.
Luckily, it is possible to learn to let go of these kinds of thoughts and free ourselves from the negative influence that unhealthy people can leave in our life even several months after they have left it.
Having toxic thoughts
Most of us know that toxic thoughts are harmful both emotionally and physically. In fact, studies show that a person with negative thoughts tends not only to be more unhappy, but also to be in poorer health and less able to cope with life’s challenges.
Many researchers support this fact; in fact, some determine that thinking toxicly plays a critical role in illnesses such as depression, cancer, heart disease, and autoimmune disease.
How to eliminate toxic thoughts and let someone negative out of our head
We work very hard to eliminate everything that is toxic in our lives: we buy organic products, avoid the less healthy foods, eat green … But we put little effort into trying to ” putting green ” in our minds. And yet, doing so can have a very positive impact on our daily lives.
How, then, can we stop thinking about a negative person and the damage they have done to us ? How can we forget their attitude, behavior or action that let us down and touched our sensitivity? Why does this unpleasant memory come to us again and again?
These 10 small but powerful ideas will help you get someone negative out of your head, thus getting you out of the downward spiral of toxic thoughts and emotions. Choose any of these ways of thinking or acting, and you can get rid of the undesirable person in your head once and for all:
1. Talk less about that person and let more time pass. The fact of not naming it so much and waiting for time to pass and act as a draft by itself will allow it to go before your head.
2. Wait and see what happens next. Often times, we feel the need to respond and react to difficult people or situations immediately. Instead, just give yourself permission to wait and see what happens next.
3. Stay away from guilt. Thinking about past events and blaming yourself for them is rarely productive. Bad things and misunderstandings “happen” more often, through a series of events, like a domino effect. No one person is generally entirely to blame for anything.
4. Try not to try to get into other people’s minds. Really, you will never have all the security about what the other thinks, it is impossible.
5. Deal with your biggest problem first. No matter what happened, the biggest problem we face is our own anger. Our anger creates a cloud of emotion that prevents us from responding in a useful and productive way. Therefore, eliminating this emotion can help us discover more effective ways to act and resolve our conflicts with ease.
6. Practice calm. Faced with a situation in which you have felt offended or hurt, it is essential that you manage to keep your emotions under control. Otherwise, they could run amok and end up causing even worse effects.
7. Don’t believe everything you think. When we are emotionally held hostage by worry, grief, fear, anxiety or anger, the emotional and physical state we experience makes us see that discomfort is real, but it may not be true. In this case, doubting our own emotions can be a very useful tool.
8. You are not a time wizard. When we think about past events that have hurt us, we often look for what we could have done differently to avoid an altercation or regrettable outcome. This, however, rarely brings us anything positive.
9. Sorry. We are very loyal to our suffering. To get rid of it, it is advisable to use forgiveness, both towards the person who has offended us and towards ourselves.
10. Change your state of mind. Finally, if none of the previous techniques have been helpful, it may be that changing your environment and distracting yourself with more pleasant elements can help you reduce your levels of discomfort and face your problems more effectively.