She is sweet, submissive and leaves all the decisions to be made in the hands of her partner. Not only the most important ones, but also the most insignificant ones such as the foods to include on the shopping list. Thus he makes his partner his guide. Who follows without doubting and without rethinking anything. This is the reality of a chameleon personality.
Whoever has a chameleon personality conceives relationships in an unequal way. Someone submits, someone orders. Therefore, those who enjoy this personality feel lost when they are with a partner who tells them “but, I want to know what you think” or “we can’t think the same thing, you’ll have to have your own opinion”.
Today we are going to discover through the story of Samanta what life as a couple is like for someone who has a chameleon personality. We will see what advantages you get in this regard, but also how you lose out.
Samanta, the indecisive woman
Since she was little, Samantha was always very indecisive. So much so that she found herself in the position of being with two men she liked, without being able to choose either one. However, something caught her attention about herself. He managed to be a different person depending on who he was with.
Angel, her lover, was a fan of soccer and extreme sports so Samanta became a passionate soccer fan and a lover of adrenaline. However, Ricardo, her husband, was a serious, elegant lawyer … Samanta behaved with equal elegance and impeccable manners.
Although Samantha was puzzled by her own transformation, she felt incapable of breaking the relationship with her lover and her husband. However, one day everything changed. Samanta caught Ricardo red-handed with a woman totally opposed to her and therefore, to himself. She was brash and lively.
Shattered, fear invaded Samantha. He did not break the relationship but he stopped behaving with Ricardo as he had done until now. She became passionate, daring in an attempt to offer him what he was looking for. With this change in attitude, Ricardo began to distrust a possible infidelity. On the contrary, with Ángel he began to behave in a more correct way, looking for stability, something more serious. Angel got bored with his new way of behaving and began to notice other girls.
Samanta chose the only strategy that she had always been able to implement to make their relationships work. However, in this case, her chameleon personality betrayed her. Her world had turned upside down, which is why she changed the roles she had been playing in both of her relationships with the goal of succeeding again. But it does not work
Samanta found herself alone. He had adapted to the personality of his partners, but after the events and his change, totally unfortunate, both relationships were broken. Samantha didn’t understand what happened. His sudden change in attitude caused both relationships he had to end in disaster.
Adapt to the partner’s lifestyle
As we have seen with the story of Samanta, who has a chameleon personality always adapts to the lifestyle of the partner, to their tastes … In short, he hides who he really is to be who the other expects. However, this has advantages and disadvantages.
The advantage of the chameleon personality is that he manages to have a partner with whom to share absolutely everything. Do the same activities, think in the same way and understand each other perfectly. Also, since you leave all the decisions in the hands of your partner, the relationship seems to be going great, with harmony.
The downside of the chameleon personality is that it will always show a tendency to please and submit to the other person. He will never have initiative and, in addition, he will always agree on everything. This type of personality can end up wearing down the relationship and the couple can get tired of this attitude, because if they think the same, if they do not take the initiative, if they do not seem to have different tastes, the relationship may lose its spark.
The chameleon personality is so adaptive that it completely eliminates the surprise effects in a relationship.
A couple does not have to have the same tastes, or feel attracted to the same activities, much less have to change their way of being for the other person. The more we are ourselves, the better everything will go. Also, if we are not compatible, nothing happens. It is better to realize it in time than much later.
Whoever has a chameleon personality seems to want to find someone like him at all costs. Breaking up or staying without a partner is a great fear for them, that’s why they conform. However, as we have seen, this ends up taking its toll on the relationship.
Being natural, being yourself and having a healthy self-esteem is very important both on a personal and relational level. If we do not know how to protect our personality and we sell it to the highest bidder, we may have an insecurity problem.
I like how I am, I am not going to change for anyone
I’m not going to change for you, don’t ask me to be more docile, slimmer, to renounce my passions to fit into your emptiness.