Criticism To Grow, Criticism To Hurt You

Remembering the post   ” Learn to say no in your life “, in which we explained that assertive behavior understands that an assertive person is capable of transmitting their own true feelings, facing criticism from others in a positive and appropriate way, We came to the conclusion that they do not get angry or use anger to demand their true needs from the people around them.

Before moving on to the exercise that I propose today to learn to ignore the criticisms  that we very commonly receive, we have to know that they are divided into two types: offensive and constructive. 

  • The first is the one that  “we don’t like it” or “we feel bad”. It is when we make a person feel rejected, despised or, what usually hurts us the most, humiliated. This also falls within group situations or with several people being participants in the humiliation.
  • The second is the one that we  all humbly need in our lives , and the one that allows us to improve every day, achieving goals and improving our relationships.

We also find that depending on the way in which they are made , criticisms can be  correct  when they are expressed without disrespect to the other person through both types of verbal and non-verbal communication, and  incorrect  when they are made disrespectfully to the other person through the aforementioned communications.

Today we will work on a tool  to  “ignore”  offensive information that can affect us so emotionally and encourage the failure to achieve our goals or, worse, our own dreams.

With this exercise we only pay attention to that of criticism that allows us to learn positively and improve. It’s super simple. When we are facing a judgment that makes us feel bad, we will  respond to the person who is doing it in an intelligent way,  showing us emotionally independent from that subject.

 And this, how is it done?

An example:

– I don’t think it’s good that you went to that party without me, even if you knew I had to get up early. It cost you nothing, I always want to be with you and do things together and you never take me into account. You are a horrible person.

ANSWER : it is true that I could have invited you but when you told me that you had to get up early, as you always tell me that you don’t want to go out to party the day before going to work, I didn’t want to bother you and I followed your usual answer. If you don’t want to stay up late, I understand.

I would advise you to do this exercise the more times the better to be able to integrate it in a healthy and relaxed way as a habit in our daily lives.

It is fantastic to be integrating healthy Emotional Intelligence guidelines in our lives and to notice their stupendous results. Happy emotional learning to everyone ????

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