How to be yourself? We could define it as being natural, spontaneous. It is to be as we are when we find ourselves without fear, alone or with very trustworthy people. Not only fears diminish the authenticity of people, sometimes, for different reasons, we do not live according to how we really are, our values, skills, vision of life, etc …
There are many factors that can influence and hinder how to be yourself, such as traditions, a lack of knowing yourself or simply doing things to please others. It is essential that we reflect on whether we are really living from our true essence or we are creating a character for others, which is supposed to be better than who we really are.
All of us, to a greater or lesser extent, have ever lived from a facade that we wanted to give, but happiness and well-being is impossible to feel if one does not live from their true “self”
How to be yourself: self-knowledge
We need to know ourselves to be able to live according to our essence and learn how to be ourselves. It is important that we get to know each other, but for this we should have three points clear:
- What things am I good at? Where do I stand out? What are my greatest skills? Knowing our strengths, we can direct our trajectory towards a path that will bring us well-being and success.
- What are my values? What is the most important thing for us in life? What do I want in my life? If we do not let ourselves go with the flow and do not let chance guide our lives, we will live a fuller life because we will choose it according to what we really want
- With what things is my motivation activated ? What do I greatly enjoy? To help us know what makes us enjoy the most, we can look back at childhood and we may find activities that we have not taken up again, but that made us very happy to practice them.
- What can I offer to others? You must make others want to be by your side because they perceive that you are someone who can be trusted
- What do I want to be? What social role do I want to play? It is not about studying one career or another, but what your social value will be, what you will do for the society in which you operate.
The enemies of naturalness
Knowing yourself better will favor how to be yourself and will offer tools that will provide more security, but many times the lack of naturalness is caused by other factors. Factors that are related to the experiences we have lived and that, in some way, have affected us. Some of them are those that we expose below.
1. Wanting to show an improved version of one
If we want to give the best possible image and we are overly concerned to please, the opposite will probably happen, that we show the worst image, since it cannot be natural if we pressure ourselves with wanting to give the best version.
Personal acceptance is the key to improvement. We are unique and unrepeatable and we all have good and bad things, we decide, what matters more to us? Look good or be happy? Let’s consider, if we manage to give a good image, what do we gain? Others get a good impression, but we are left inside with dissatisfaction for not getting the true essence.
We should never try to put on a mask to please, what should matter most to us is our own well-being and that is achieved by being able to show ourselves as we are
2. Thinking focused on the image we will give
If our focus is on ourselves, we will feel insecure and we will not be natural, since we will feel concern about what others think of us.
Naturalness arises when the center of attention is not placed on the image we will give, but the priority in our mind is to enjoy what is around, without thinking about whether we are looking good or bad.
Tension also destroys naturalness, and can arise from different things, but the most common is to be worried about wanting to look good, for fear of rejection. At the moment in which one does not give importance to the image that he gives, he accepts himself as he is and does not intend to please, but the priority is to enjoy what is in front of him, then it is when we are more authentic, because that way we will be eliminating fear.
Now that you know how to be yourself, will you start fighting the enemies of naturalness?