People always try to build a safe and calm life where risks and of course, suffering are excluded. There are those who go beyond this simple principle and, for fear of suffering or experiencing any negative emotion, precisely forget to live.
Not long ago we talked to you for example about something very common that is happening today, people who after suffering a love disappointment, a betrayal or a loss, even choose to “never fall in love again. ” It closes doors and, in a way, dispenses with living a part of that life that is so important to human beings. But now, each of us is free to make our own decisions and the way we want to spend our days, without being judged or criticized. With this, we only want to make one aspect clear.We cannot isolate ourselves from suffering, it is almost impossible. We cannot enter a soap bubble hoping that the wind or the elements will never break that weak protection. Sooner or later a disappointment will come to us, no matter how small. Or a betrayal, with all its consequences. A loss and even a disease .. Suffering is part of the human being, and as such, we must know how to face it.
UNDERSTANDING SUFFERING TO FACE IT
One of the biggest mistakes in our society is to consider pain, tears or suffering as something that must be hidden. Better to hold back the tears and go to the bathroom so that no one sees us. “Don’t cry, you have to learn to be older”, they told us when we were little. So, we breathed in anger and suffering and we kept it inside ourselves, like that monster that it was better not to show, and sometimes, not to talk about. And it is a mistake. Suffering is not abnormal, it is not a disease or a sign of weakness. To suffer is to understand that there is something that is not going well and that we must know how to understand, assume, accept and face. Nothing more than that.
Suffering is common and as normal as the air we breathe. Maybe on some occasion you have met those people who suddenly tell us “Everything happens to me!”, As if the pain or the fact of suffering chose only certain people in a very select exclusivity. But it is not like that, we all experience the same things at some point: being fired at a job, being rejected or abandoned, suffering disappointments, losing someone … pain does not choose victims at random, pain caresses us all equally at some point But each of us deal with it differently.
There are those who allow themselves to be defeated. Who can not and who has, in the long term, more likely to fall into depression. Other people, however, have more resources to deal with these events more or less effectively. There are personalities who tend to interpret everything negatively: misfortune follows me, I have no right to be happy, I was born to suffer … instead others, instead of interpreting suffering MANAGE it, and that is where we must delve deeper, there where each one all of us must develop our own strategies.
For example, how you interpret your condition is very important. Crying is not an act of pain, it is a way of venting and a natural need. Tears are normal and necessary. Nor do you look for guilty, because otherwise, you will lengthen your recovery even more by adding to the suffering the “anger” component, with which, the feeling will be even more negative. Do not attribute the blame to anyone, always think about yourself and how you can emerge from that abyss that now drowns you. Suffering must also be understood and not just accepted. If we accept it without fighting it is useless: “I know I am sad because my partner has let me down, because he has hurt me.” If we just accept it, we will stagnate in that pain for life.
Face it, come to terms with that disappointment but look up further. “They have let me down, yes, but I know that that person was not capable of making me happy, I know that I have done my best and that now, it is time to focus my life on my own path in search of my well-being and my happiness. Because I deserve to be happy ”.
Suffering is normal. There is no life without its small share of suffering, we must remember it, hence it is worth learning to manage it so that it does not overflow. Suffering continuously blocks us in life by taking away the air and making us lose everything around us. And even all those we love. It’s not worth it, react, fight for your well-being.
Image Courtesy: Leah Johnston