Bullying is a scourge that has been silenced for many years. It has been covered in many ways. “They are children’s things”, “Children, you know, sometimes they can be cruel”, “That girl is very strange …”.
Children or adolescents themselves have ended up seeing as something normal that there is a kind of scapegoat in their classes. It is like a silenced social “law”. There is always someone who ends up being the target of all the anger and cruelty. Cruelty that many times is not considered that way from within. It is normalized, and even arguments are manipulated to make it look logical.
If we try to go beyond these superficial behaviors we can understand what processes are taking place so that this is maintained over time. Everything is something more instinctive than it seems. The survival instinct. Think that the school many times ends up representing that jungle where one fights for his own life.
Bullying and the survival instinct
One fights not to be reached by those fierce animals that inhabit our environment. Many times that struggle involves allying with them. If I ally myself with them, I certainly guarantee my survival. I lose my essence and lose myself for allying with those I fear, but in return I survive.
And is that survival in school or in institutes is a priority for any student. This is where the multiple cognitive dissonances that human beings have so many times appear. When there is something incongruous in our head (we think one thing but do another) and we try to convince ourselves that if we do it it is because we have reasons for it.
We deceive ourselves. We trip over our own stones. If I start to laugh and make practical jokes to Pepita it is because Pepita is very strange and “she is crying out for it”. Overall, if everyone laughs at her, what difference does one more person give? This is the train of thought of many children and adolescents who begin to participate in this sad “game” of survival.
Making the heroes who defend their teammates visible is a guaranteed success
As we already know, the more people participate in it, the more painful it is for the person who suffers it. Here, as the amount increases the pain as well. That is why it is so important that these little heroes are made visible, that far from fearing the “bad guys” and joining with them they fight against them. They do it because they have principles and values so ingrained that they prevent them from acting with evil and contempt towards their peers.
They are aware of the damage that is being done and do not want to participate in it. They don’t silence it. They defend their partner. They look for support. They increase the safety net of their equal. They take risks because of their convictions about respect, justice and love for the same who has done nothing to deserve such punishment.
For all these reasons, the campaigns that are being carried out in the media about Bullyng are so important. They point out and make visible the bullying behaviors that occur in many centers, at the same time that they offer children, parents and educators examples in which they can fix so that they are not passive bystanders of the attacks. Examples given by little heroes when they risk their “survival” in favor of their convictions.
Justice, love and respect: the three necessary ingredients to combat bullying
Love beats hate. Justice is the flag of their behavior. Let us make these children and adolescents visible, because only in this way will the other side of this sad tragedy be seen. To the extent that society rewards these little defenders of their peers, we will set an example for all children who act without knowing what their motivations are.
The problem appears when good attitudes are not visible. When silence reaches the other side of the coin. That would be a huge loss of potential. We cannot allow ourselves to be won over by hatred and prejudice. Let us make visible the affection of these boys towards their classmates and let us avoid that schools are places where those who stand on the side of the attacker survive. Let’s reward the brutal bravery they are showing with their attitude. The more heroes there are, the more difficult it will be to harass any person.
How does bullying affect children who suffer it?
There is much talk about “bullying” and the problem it poses, but it is necessary to know the psychological consequences for the victims … I invite you to do it!