Whoever loves does not make any mistakes, because the act of loving makes us noble, it is something pure, authentic and instinctive. However, although we do not regret having loved, what hurts us is loving someone who does not deserve it, who was never as we originally believed.
Loving the wrong person is a serious misunderstanding from which we rarely emerge unscathed. However, it is necessary to combine strengths and pick up the embers of our self-esteem to rekindle it. We must be able to refuse to suffer for love, to continue loving what is broken to find our space in solitude and heal again.
“The effects of love or tenderness are fleeting, but those of error, even just one, never end, they are like a caveman, like a disease without remedy”
-Antonio Muñoz Molina-
In these times nourished by the world of social networks and virtual spaces for finding a partner, a very particular phenomenon is taking place. There are people who have the feeling that they always fall in love with the wrong person. They continue to believe in love, and they yearn, above all, to be able to come to love the right person and, in turn, to feel loved, respected, loved.
The profiles of these spaces offer us an interesting option. We can “sift” by interests and characteristics. All of this gives us a certain sense of control over what we want and what we don’t want: we try to find the perfect formula. However, specialists in affective relationships have it clear. Love is not an algorithm.
Making mistakes from time to time in love is almost the law of life. Although sometimes, between the chaos and the unexpected, what we longed for arises. A mature, conscious and happy relationship. We must never lose hope. We suggest you reflect on it.
The false expectations that we create and “make us believe”
We said it at the beginning. Loving can never be a mistake. People breathe, we learn, we love, we cry, we laugh and we move forward. The wheel of life invites us to experience and be part of this intense and beautiful movement where we do not have to flee from our nature. Of our essences. The problem, without a doubt, is to continue loving those who do not love us.
It is often said that people do not change, that in reality, they were never as we thought. Well, in a way we all change a bit based on certain experiences, however, the roots always remain, they are always there. Although sometimes, we do not see them and we just create false expectations that do not fit reality.
Now, does this mean that the responsibility to love those who do not deserve it is always ours? What are we naive to build castles in the air? Absolutely. In an interesting book entitled “The 7 minutes marriage solution” they explain that false expectations in relationships are created and fed in equal parts.
On the one hand, there are those who feed themselves from those “castles in the air” in their desire to find happiness, to the point of seeing virtues where there are only more or less camouflaged selfishness. However, there are also those who are avid specialists in feeding false expectations.
They do it for very specific purposes. On the one hand, to avoid loneliness whatever and with whoever. On the other, to ensure, at times, a disposable relationship giving hope of something lasting.