The Strength And Limits Of Love

 

“I love how love loves. I know of no other reason to love than to love you. What do you want me to tell you besides that I love you, if what I want to tell you is that I love you? … “

Fernando Pessoa

It is not easy to define romanticism. It was a literary and artistic school, but also an attitude of the human being to life and, especially, to love. What is clear is that romanticism has transcended times and fashions. In today’s world, with everything and its pragmatism, there are still many people who look at reality with a deep romantic air.

This is seen more clearly in the field of the couple. It is not gratuitous that precisely the love between a man and a woman has been baptized precisely as “romantic love”. This would not matter if it were not for the fact that it is a perspective in which affections are idealized and, over time, often leads to great disappointments.

Here we tell you what are those myths of romantic love that, finally, prevent you from being happy as a couple.

Myths about the power of love

There is the idea that love can do everything, it achieves everything, it achieves everything. Unfortunately, something like this rarely happens. Couple love, like all human feelings, has its limits and precise scope. Love cannot do everything.

Sustaining that myth can be detrimental in many cases. For example, when someone thinks they can change another person, thanks to love. Obviously, love influences our behavior to change to some extent; but the truth is that a couple relationship is not going to alter the ultimate essence of anyone. At the most, it polishes some edges of our being.

Love alone is not capable of overcoming all obstacles, tolerating all mistakes, or forgiving all offenses. As much love as there is, there are limits that cannot be transgressed. If that love does not include respect, tolerance and good communication, the bond may be perpetuated, but not the feeling as such.

Myths about the supernatural of love

Many times when talking about love it is associated with some magical ideas. There is talk of destiny or predestination, of inexplicable “chemistry”, of a unique and true love of life, or of eternities and infinities that most of the time only remain in words.

There are those who wish to see love through the glass of the supernatural. They want it to be an incomprehensible force, to come to life without knowing how or why and to transform straw into gold. That ideal of love is such a strong desire that you will hardly find it attractive in more earthly relationships.

They assume that if there are difficulties in their relationship, it is because they have still found their true “better half”. They suppose that if they find it, there will be no need to make any effort, because everything will flow, as if it were written in advance.

The contrast between an imperfect relationship, of flesh and blood, and the relationship idealized by romantics, is very strong. Of course, the real relationship will always lose out. How could a here and now full of imperfections, misunderstandings and bad smells be compared with an afterlife in which there is only harmony and happiness?

In reality, the ultimate loser is the person who seeks to see something that exists only in the inflamed imagination of romanticism embodied in reality. Again and again you will find your longing for absolute encounter and total harmony frustrated.

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