There are cruel people disguised as good people. They are beings that harm, that attack through a Machiavellian emotional blackmail based on fear, aggression and guilt. They appear friendly kindnesses behind which are hidden interests and deep frustrations.
Often times, it is said that “whoever hurts is because at some point in his life he was also damaged.” That whoever was hurt hurts. However, and although these ideas are still based on truth, there is another aspect that we do not always like to admit. Evil exists. Cruel people sometimes have certain biological components that incline them towards certain aggressive behaviors.
“There is no evil more cruel than that which is born from the seeds of good”
The scientist and popularizer Marcelino Cereijido points out something interesting. ” There is no evil gene, but there are certain biological and cultural circumstances that can lead to it. ” The most complex thing about this issue is that very often, we tend to look for labels and pathologies for behaviors that simply do not fall within the psychodiagnosis manuals.
Evil acts can happen without the need for an underlying psychological illness. All of us, at some point, have met a person with this type of profile. Beings who give us compliments and attention. People who are well liked, with social success, but who in private, outline a dark and very long shadow. In the abyss of their hearts it breathes cruelty, lack of empathy and even aggressiveness.
We suggest you reflect on it.
Cruel people and the moral molecule
As we have pointed out, to date no one has been able to identify the existence of the evil gene. However, in recent years, studies on a fascinating aspect have increased: the so-called “molecule of morality. ” To better understand what this structure is, we will put ourselves in context with a true story. A terrible story, which unfortunately happens too often.
Hans Reiser is an American programmer famous for creating ReiserFS files. At present, and since 2008, he is in the Mule Creek jail for having murdered his wife. He had no qualms about pleading guilty and revealing where he had buried Nina Reiser’s body. As a curious fact, it should be noted that this programming specialist has prodigious intelligence, to the point that he began his university studies while still a teenager.
After a speedy trial and being admitted to the San Quentin prison, he decided to prepare his appeal himself. Through 5 handwritten sheets, he argued that his brain worked differently. Reiser was aware of the studies that were being carried out with oxytocin and used it as an argument. According to him, he was born with this problem: his brain did not produce the so-called molecule of morality. He lacked empathy.
Obviously, and unsurprisingly, this argument did not exempt him from continuing to serve his life sentence. However, the issue of the origin of evil was once again open to debate. To this day, full value is given to the fact that oxytocin is that hormone that makes us “human” in its truest sense. Respectful people and concerned about attending, caring for and empathizing with our peers.
Empathy, the pleasure of emotional reading for our brain
Empathy is the ability of our emotional brain to read or perceive the thoughts and feelings of others and, of course, transmit it.
How to defend ourselves from camouflaged cruelty
In our daily lives we do not always relate to people as cruel as the one mentioned above. However, we are victims of other types of interactions: those of false kindness, covert aggressiveness, manipulation, subtle selfishness, the most damaging irony, etc.
“The world is not in danger by bad people, but by those who allow evil”
These behaviors could result from several aspects. Lack of Emotional Intelligence, a non-affective environment where the person grew up or even why not, a deficit in the release of oxytocin. All this would determine, perhaps, that more or less covert aggressiveness. Be that as it may, we cannot forget that by aggressiveness we are not referring exclusively to physical abuse.
Emotional, instrumental or verbal aggression are less reportable wounds due to the need to prove them, but more everyday ones against which we must defend ourselves. We explain how.
Cruel people: knowing how to recognize and avoid them
We can all be victims of cruel people. It doesn’t matter age, status, or our previous experiences. These profiles live at the family level, in work environments and in any setting. However, we can identify them in a number of ways.
- The person with a dark heart will captivate us with lies. They will dress in beautiful words and noble deeds, but little by little blackmail will emerge. Later, the generation of fear, guilt and mental violence.
- With these mechanisms there is only one option: non-tolerance. It does not matter if it is our sister, our partner or that co-worker. The disturbers of calm and balance only seek one thing: to turn off our self-esteem to be in control.
- We will have the clear feeling that there is no way out. That they have us under their networks. However, you have to remember something “the one who owns himself is more powerful” . Thus, the game of domination and aggressiveness must be decisively broken.
The games of domination and covert aggressiveness are very intricate. However, it is necessary to act quickly by dismantling traps and reacting to veiled threats. At the moment in which we feel discomfort or concern towards certain behaviors, there is only one wise option: distance.
Although you may not know it, you know some psychopaths
Various studies show that there are more psychopaths than we imagine around us. Surely you know more than one.
Images courtesy of Christian Schloe