Under The Tuscan Sun: Starting Over After Divorce

We have a good variety of songs, television series, movies or books that can help us start over after, for example, a divorce or a romantic breakup. Under the Tuscan Sun  is one of those movies, starring actress Diane Lane. Who also stars among others:  And who likes dogs  or  Stormy nights. Under the Tuscan Sun tells the story of a woman who has the opportunity to start over after getting divorced.

A sentimental break entails a sudden change in our life project that forces us to rethink our life and reinvent ourselves .  A whole process of self-discovery that can allow us to be who we really want to be.

It is true that during a separation you can live really hard moments, you have to face loneliness, learn to live with yourself, love and pamper yourself … All of this will be useful for us  to better choose those who deserve to be by our side and let them love finds us without having to look for it.

“A separation leads us to live a difficult stage in our lives that at the same time can be incredibly beautiful.”

The seemingly perfect life

At the beginning of Under the Tuscan Sun we can see its protagonist Frances Mayes in a seemingly perfect life, surrounded by personal and professional prestige.  However, her life project is broken when she discovers that her husband is cheating on her with another woman. In an instant everything changes and the seemingly perfect and enviable life turns into a kind of nightmare, where Frances feels totally lost. Your only option is to start over.

When a sentimental break occurs, a very important change occurs, we go from being two to being one, from sharing our vital project to having to follow or build our own. Something that is reflected in the film through the NO appearance of Frances’s ex-husband, since he is not important in this case. The important thing is that the protagonist finds the courage to discover who she is.

Rebuild our life

After a separation, there is always a part of reconstruction, life as we knew it no longer exists, and therefore it must be faced differently. This process will be more or less hard depending on several factors, and a very important one is the degree of affective dependence. In many cases, the vital project built is practically a fusion of the members of the couple, they have almost completely forgotten their individuality, something that makes restarting difficult for both.

Emotionally dependent people tend to quickly replace their partners or be seriously injured and closed off from love. Although it is not entirely clear in the film, Frances seems to be coming out of a relationship where she depends heavily on her husband, despite the fact that she supports him financially.

Do not lose hope

Despite the pain, the protagonist does not lose faith in love, she observes the world around her with curiosity and hope. Observing the old man who leaves flowers for an unknown woman, two young people beginning a beautiful and crazy love story, the men who surround her with a certain curiosity….

It is important to maintain hope, to observe that love is possible and present around us and that it can even happen to us and that of course we deserve it. The truth is that it will come when the precise moment is, which usually coincides with that in which we get rid of the anxiety of looking for it.

“Even if you shake the hourglass hard, each grain will fall in time.

Don’t force anything. Everything comes”.

-Anonymous-

A journey full of metaphors

Under the Tuscan Sun describes the journey to an unknown and beautiful place like the Italian Tuscany. This trip to Tuscany is nothing more than a metaphor, since the true unknown and beautiful place is the interior of Frances and all the strength and potential that she has to discover.

The protagonist’s journey begins unexpectedly, suddenly he is out of his comfort zone on a bus full of homosexual couples who begin to applaud him in show of support.Little by little the protagonist opens up to the unknown, begins to listen to her inner voice and to be guided by her instinct. Until her intuition invites her to buy a dilapidated house in a foreign country.

The house symbolizes the emotional state in which Frances finds herself, as it needs a deep reform. She finds the strength and courage to start over and rebuild her life project, beginning with a tough renovation in her new home.

Just before buying the house, she will meet a man who will be key in her recovery, a man who will treat her with respect and will accompany her in a platonic way during her evolution. This is undoubtedly one of the most important characters in the film.

“We all have an unsuspected reserve of strength, which emerges when life puts us to the test.”

-Isabel Allende-

Must-see scenes from Under the Tuscan Sun

During Under the Tuscan Sun a very special relationship is forged between them, leading to several essential scenes. One of them when after the electrical storm, Frances will have to face her fears and he appears to worry about her. At this moment the protagonist seems to feel lucky to have a good friend, a man willing to help her without looking for anything in return, a man of integrity who is faithful to his wife.

Another very important scene with this character is when Frances shares her wishes that a family come to live in that house and a wedding can be held in the garden. So the protagonist feels that she can be herself and freely share her thoughts and feelings with her friend.

During the wedding in the garden, this great character reminds Frances that her dreams have come true. She reflects and realizes that it is true, that they have been fulfilled, although not in the way she expected. In that ending, Frances is already a complete and happy person, and she is ready for love to find her. 

“Don’t look so much, just let yourself be found doing what you enjoy.”

-Guada-

Stages of recovery

As the protagonist begins again, she modifies her way of relating to others, going through different stages. For a while she needs to feel safe and take refuge in the work of renovating the house, there comes a time when she feels tired of all this and makes a new trip, this time to Rome. That is an important step.

After a separation we usually need to be calm and alone , feel free but without distractions, simply be with ourselves, in a safe environment. There comes a time when the walls of the house collapse on us, we feel stronger and we begin to need to relate to others, go out and enjoy life. Get out of the new comfort zone again and face new situations and new challenges.

Love in its various forms

It should be noted how Frances changes her way of relating to men. The protagonist has only been with her husband physically and emotionally, so that in his absence she clearly feels lost in this area. During the film, we can see how she gets excited about a flirtation with which it turns out to be a married man, how she clearly feels something that she does not know how to define towards the friend who accompanies her from beginning to end, how other men make her feel uncomfortable, as finally meet Marcelo and live a crazy adventure….

Throughout Under the Tuscan Sun , Frances discovers that there are many people around her who can love in different ways, she discovers that life is more than just sharing it with one person. Each character returns to her and reveals a part of herself. They help her to be a cook, restaurateur, friend, writer, mother, aunt, lover, girl…. Discovering that there are different forms of love and that friendship is a great form of love in itself.

“All we know about love is that love is all there is.”

-Emily Dickinson-

Start again

Under the Tuscan sun  is a film that allows us to travel through beautiful places, while on an emotional level it allows us to remember and connect with stages of our own process, of our reencounter with our essence, with our restart.

But not only will we see our own reflection, we will also be able to identify stages of other people, the starting over of friends and family after divorces or romantic breakups. Like broken hearts they recover discovering love in its different forms and giving themselves the opportunity to rebuild, just like a house in ruins.

In Under the Tuscan Sun we can see how as the house is rebuilt, Frances’s emotional state improves. Finally the old man with the flowers greets her, and from an old ruined tap, water flows freely again, symbolizing the flow of life.

“You heal when you let go of what is no longer there.”

-Anonymous-

Under the Tuscan sun  is undoubtedly a hymn to life. A song of hope, a journey of transformation full of gains and losses, of endings so that new beginnings can arrive. In this way, during the film we can see different love stories that are born … while others come to an end.

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