There is an incessant search for happiness that leads us to become obsessed, without really knowing what it is and how it is achieved. Happiness is the state in which all human beings would like to find ourselves. But do you know to what extent being happy depends on you?
“Men always forget that human happiness is a disposition of the mind and not a condition of circumstances”
– John Locke –
What is really happiness?
First of all, to know what happiness really is, we would have to ask ourselves a question: What is happiness for me? The answer can be somewhat complex and full of different nuances for each of us. This can indicate that happiness is not something that is out there, under the circumstances that we live, but rather in ourselves, in how we live those experiences.
If we go through life with the belief that happiness depends on our circumstances, the situations we go through, having more money, better children, a good job, a stable partner, etc., we will be continuously looking for what we lack it, without realizing that happiness has nothing to do with it.
Happiness can always be found in us, it is not something that is out there. It is a matter of realizing that it does not depend on what we have, but rather on what we are. This means learning to love yourself, accept yourself and live with yourself, since they will be the keys so that in any situation we can feel the happiness that lies within us.
Our attitude towards life changes when we become aware that personal satisfaction is not as variable as we have been led to believe, it is not in constant dependence on what happens around us. We have the potential to choose how to live our experiences, to achieve greater harmony and take responsibility for our happiness.
It is not about living more positive experiences than negative ones, but about learning to integrate all experiences as vital learning, since all of them are useful and necessary.
It is very common to put our happiness in dependence on what happens around us, this is how we have learned it, this is how we have been taught. This is why the tyranny of happiness exists.
Happiness is sold under formulas of how you have to live life, how you have to behave and what you have to have. The media, advertising, and politics make good use of this; taking care of transmitting that we will be happier the more things we have. That it is necessary to constantly generate positive emotions and that we must live in that ideal bubble, which does not represent our reality at all.
That’s why frustration appears, and what is worse, disconnection with ourselves. The incessant search for happiness in the external makes us move further away from ourselves and, therefore, from the happiness inherent in our nature.
This is something that we can verify every day, anyone who puts their satisfaction in what they have and what they achieve will end up losing themselves, since it is not something real, it is ephemeral, they are not real needs for satisfaction, they are needs that we have created.
And the more you have, the more you need, that is why there is the famous phrase of Saint Augustine : “The richest is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least” , referring to happiness. All this dependence on the external implies submitting to a continuous state of slavery.
To be happy only depends on yourself
Assimilate and integrate, this message can be fundamental in our lives. Understanding that we will not be happier to get more triumphs, more money, power and recognition, since happiness has nothing to do with ambition. That we are not going to be happier to obtain greater sensations of pleasure ; Since the search for pleasure through the body is not what makes us happy either.
All these kinds of matters make up our superficial life, without depth and hardly any quality. It represents the human being who is asleep and who lives in the world of quantity. And being happy is up to you. It is essential to realize that happiness is more psychological than physiological. It supposes a higher state of consciousness, a reunion with oneself, an awakening towards what is truly important.
We can achieve this if we learn to listen to ourselves, to attend to our true needs; distancing us from everything that enslaves us and wraps us in a spiral of a permanent unsatisfied desire, because being happy depends on you.
“There is pleasure and there is joy. Give up the first in order to possess the second. “